Yea, though I walk through the valley ( my ramblings)

Lately I have been walking around my house as if I'm in a trance, just barely getting done what needs to be done, having school with Abs but not really giving it my all, dealing with E-pie and Tans fusses but just not being involved, you know. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in.

I can honestly say I feel like I'm walking through a valley, low and deep and I can't see the tops of the mountains, all around me. I don't really know what to make of myself lately, these kinds for feelings are new to me, I have always been one who was never really down and out, I have always liked to be up on top, all I know is that right now I'm down.

But I can still feel His presence, asking me to draw nigh unto Him, telling me to rest in His knowing the valley I'm in. I'm just to wound up to sit still, I want to jump and run like a frightened rabbit, to get as far outta here as possible, but could it be that I'm here because this is where He needs me. That this valley is the safest place for me right now. That Hes telling me slow down, to stop and look around at where I am in my walk with Him, my walk with my husband and kids. Could it be that I have been rushing these days that He has blessed me with, that I have failed to take the time to acknowledge Him as often as I should. Could it be that these troubling times in my heart and mind be from Him?

Does God really do that to His children? Does He allow us to walk through troubled times so that we can grow in Him, so that we can know more of Him?

You know that every time during a storm that it lightnings it puts nitrogen back into our soil which in turns helps our grass and veggies to grow, Now I know that nitrogen can be added by us as well, but the point I'm trying to get across is this: Maybe just maybe God is allowing storms in my life today so that He can add much needed nutrition to the soil of my heart, so that I can grow more in Him, so that I can bloom in the places where he puts me. Places like being a mom to three very different, precious children, wife and friend( I think this sometimes gets over looked) to my husband, confidant to my sisters, daughter to my parents, granddaughter to my grandparents, I think you guys get the point. I need to blossom into just exactly the kind of vine, that the Husbandman wants me to be. And in order for me to do that I need to slow down and soak up more of Him.

I don't always understand the reasoning for the things we sometimes have to deal with, but I do always know that there is a reason. Times in life don't just happen, as the wind blows, God didn't just set in this world into orbit and then just turn around and forget it, No, He guides this world on a path that He already has mapped out, of this we can be assured. Its the same way with our lives, He just didn't give us life and then forget us, not at all, He set our feet on a path of righteousness and gave us a lamp to light our way. I may not always be able to see that God is working in my best interest but I know that I have a hope that is out of this world, hope in one who controls this thing called life. I know that when I lay down at night and I feel like I have no control, that I know the one who does, That this valley I'm in right now is one of His choosing and that when I make it out and I'm standing on the mountain I will be able to look back and say that God was with me the whole way, that He was leading me. I was where I needed to be to get the nourishment I must have to grow. I will be able to say that this valley is for me!!

Father, guide me as I walk in this valley, help me to rest in you, give me the grace to face each gully and the strength to get up and keep on going, Help me to seek you in every facet of my day, that I may become a vessel of honor to you.